Saturday 10 November 2012

The chant of the Sado Dataprotectionists

My last blog has generated quite a bit of interest from people who have written to me to ask if I know of a local chapter of the Sado Dataprotectionists, as that they can apply to join it.

I’ve had to reply along the lines that I’m overly familiar with the way that sect organises itself. Indeed, I expect it thrives on a reasonable element of disorganisation, in order to prevent infiltrators from disrupting their activities to a significant extent.

I also understand that the membership lists are in a pretty grotty shape, as the paranoia of a data breach involving the membership lists, which might identify (probably former) high profile individuals is considered so significant that, rather than write the names down, the lists are simply committed to the memory of the local sect secretary.

What I can advise, however, is that there is a special chant that forms an important part of the initiation ceremony. The chant has been handed down from generation to generation, and oddly manages to remain quite relevant.

For what it’s worth, and for the first time in print, I am able to present to you their chant:

Come - share in our dream
Of rules ever more extreme
Beyond whatever has been so far forseen
From those in the current European regime

Rise up and be a pest
Make your first Subject Access Request
And see if you will be blessed
With any news of interest

Protect us from the menace of data retention
We need standards that are fit for today’s generation
Not data controllers that are too awful to mention
Tie them up in red tape with a new Regulation

We will preach from the pulpits: the rules are defective
With safeguards that are not sufficiently protective
The fines for public bodies have ceased to be effective
Oiks should get beaten on the bottom with the Data Directive

Come join us – let’s change the law

I must thank Victoria Wood for her wonderful inspiration for the penultimate line of this chant.

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